A window of hope

It was a cold night, I was standing by the window sill to have my last cigarette before catching up on some late night television, and falling asleep. Random thoughts filled my mind as I looked outside. Living in a big city meant that the only place I could afford was a small studio in a crowded residential area. The window in the room was my opening to the world, and my world right now was,

"I Wake up in the morning brush my teeth watch the sunrise with cigarette and tea,

make it to the bus by the skin of my teeth,

slide through the day like carrots and peas" Tonight wasn't like any other night, while was smoking my last cigarette I saw a strange woman through my window. She lying down in the corner of the street. I couldn't see it clearly, but I didn't think it was anything out of the ordinary. So I took a last puff of my cigarette and got back to my routine:

"I Wake up in the morning brush my teeth watch the sunrise with cigarette and tea,

make it to the bus by the skin of my teeth,

slide through the day like carrots and peas" Oh no.. wait today was a Saturday, so "I Wake up in the morning brush my teeth Its past sunrise but I have my cigarette and tea,

make it through the day got some friends to meet

Stay out all night I have no where else to be " That's how most of my weekends were, a haze of booze and cigarettes. I have a lot of friends, we don't share much about our lives, but we know how to have a good time. At the end of the day, isn't that what matters? After waking up from a hangover on a Sunday, I catch up on some movies and cooking to relax myself, nothing unusual. However, in the night, just when I was about to put out my last cigarette, I see the body through my window in the street again. Now, is this just a co-incidence? I squinted my eyes to get a better look at what it was, the body moved, it disappeared! I was a little taken aback, but well, I ignored it. "It is definitely not a ghost". I went back to binge watching my show and fell asleep. The next morning again "I Wake up in the morning brush my teeth watch the sunrise with cigarette and tea,

make it to the bus by the skin of my teeth... No I missed my bus."

For the first time in 5 years I missed my bus. This wasn't good, I hate being late to work, people start asking questions, and I don't like talking more than I have to. So I take a 50$ taxi to work, I get stuck in traffic, reach late anyway. My boss was surprised, my colleagues were curious and I had to entertain their questions... "why is this happening to me?". However, every night I kept seeing this body in the garden, every morning something went wrong. Day 2 of the week: "I Wake up in the morning brush my teeth watch the sunrise with cigarette and tea,

Ouch! I spill my tea on myself" Day 3 of the week: "I Wake up in the morning brush my teeth watch the sunrise with cigarette and tea,

make it to the bus by the skin of my teeth... ugh! the bus is too crowded for this hour, too many people". Day 4 of the week: "I Wake up in the morning brush my teeth watch the sunrise with cigarette and tea ... I am out of cigarettes, how did I not notice this?" Day 5 of the week: "I Wake up in the morning brush my teeth... WHAT! IT IS 10 AM, I OVERSLEPT!". I am not a believer in ghosts, but this cannot be a co-incidence, ever since I saw this vision, there is something wrong every single day. What should I do? Is this a sign that I should quit smoking ? Smoking is known to cause serious physical illness, but recently it was brought to my notice by a friend of mine, that smoking is also related to a variety of mental illness.. "I cant remember now, I couldn't be bothered to listen to what he says". However, just to be safe I decided to quit smoking for a while. It was a Saturday, so I decided to call off all my party plans, and stay at home. To keep myself distracted from cravings I was chewing gum, and started binge watching some TV shows, and around 10 PM when I looked out of my closed window for the body didn't see it anymore. It was a good sign. For the next week, I went cold turkey. I threw out my cigarette pack, drank a ton of coffee, and if ever I craved a nicotine boost, I kept myself distracted by talking to other people. My week was actually better than the last. "I did not know my boss was so funny, he was good enough to be a professional stand-up comedian". "My colleague sitting across me has been making eyes at me all week, why have I never noticed that ?" I started jogging during the lunch hour, and this week, I have been happier and healthier. Somehow I am now a sunny positive person, at least that's what my colleagues think. It is Friday night, and I haven't had a single cigarette all week, I was so proud of myself. I just opened my window looking out at the cold rainy evening and contemplating the new life I have, "I do not know why and how I deserve this, I pushed everyone out of my life, as I feared intimacy. The universe has a mysterious way of doing things. Everything that happens is for the good and... AAAAH! NOOO!".. THE BODY AGAIN! This cannot be happening I haven't been smoking for a week. Now what, do I do?". I just look away and run to the safety of my bed. Let me sleep it off. BANG! BANG! BANG! "Someone is at the door, at 10 in the night? Who could it be? This is so scary." BANG! BANG! BANG! I open the door to find the old lady from across the hall. "Hi Mrs. Peters, How are you?" I ask her, She stares at me, in a somewhat familiar manner... "Stop staring at me through your window glass you pervert!" She said, and stormed off. "Oh, it all makes sense now. It is just Mrs. Peters reflection on my window sill. I forget how close the apartments are together. Whenever I open my window, I see the reflection of her sleeping on my window". "Why did I get myself so worried, silly me". I go to sleep, basking in my newly found positivity and the solved mystery. Life is beautiful! The next morning... "I Wake up in the morning brush my teeth watch the sunrise with cigarette and tea,

make it to the bus by the skin of my teeth,

slide through the day like carrots and peas"