The power of invisibility- Part 2

Life seems to go in circles most of the time. A poppers sudden claim to richness leaves him in rags once again. A nobody's claim to fame dies an invisible death. The way I see it, no one ever truly gets over the monsters that haunt them unless they turn to the dark side. Instead of circles, life can be considered as levels, each time we own up to our monsters, we move to the next much harder challenge.

I was learning to master this level of my life, to fully tap the power of invisibility. I wanted to truly look into myself and unleash my destiny without being distracted by the controlled construct of life in which we have been trained to live. The trouble however with isolating yourself is the mental anguish and anxiety that comes with it. With no one else to think about, the selfish thoughts, depression and anger creep up. With no where to release them, I had grown bitter, unstable and deeply vulnerable. The only contact with the real world was my family, they seemed to think I needed help. Open minded as they were, they regularly suggested I visit a specialist with whom I can talk about my current situation. I know many friends, colleagues, acquaintances, friends of friends, friends of my family or maybe complete strangers that have gone off the grid, lost their mind and were bought back to "reality" because of addiction, suicidal thoughts, unsuccessful suicidal attempts, or just bad mental health. What others did not know was that I wasn't trying to hide any pain, instead I was trying to master living a life devoid of the shackles of a life controlled by "superior" humans. I was simply trying to master a different way of life, a life where I could be my own. This could be a useful first step to people like myself have been unsuccessful in finding their own. I had to push through these feelings of anguish, anxiety, despair and depression, because beyond all of this was a light that would shine so bright and so perfectly, because it would be a light made only for me and shine as much as I let it. A world where I could be happy to be my own, and be truly invisible from the world, show them only what I wanted to show, and be only the person I wanted to be.

In the mental anguish and anxiety that haunted me, I could find peace in reading books. books that spoke of freedom, individuality and free will. Yes! I know what you are thinking, this is a book written and published by humans in a society, that I resented the most now. This was everything I wanted to leave behind me. However, I resented the earlier rash boldness with which I perceived my fellow humans. Instead of being attached with emotions, I now connect with people in thoughts and ideas, through books, movies and theaters.

That is the power I got from my invisibility, because everything that is invisible to the world inside me is now finding a new stability, a new peace, something I haven't seen or felt before. So,

Did I get what I wanted -- NO

Did I find what I needed -- YES

Did I change the world -- NO

Did I find a new way of life -- MAYBE